I got the Fever

Baby Fever, that is.

Hubby says I think I'm pregnant 12 times a year.

Just like Mr. Darcy told Elizabeth in Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice,  "You have bewitched me body, mind, and soul and I lov... I lov... I love you."  My heart keeps telling my baby fever, "You have bewitched me womb, mind, and soul and I wan... I wan... I want a baby."

I was never one of those girls that had my wedding, life, and future children names picked out since age 8.  Yes, I may have been was boy crazy in my pre-teens and teenage years but never planned out my life.  All that changed when Hubby popped the big question.  I had that wedding planned in a snap and started thinking baby names right after the wedding since one of my closets friends was pregnant and spurred off the baby fever.  

Let's be honest, my best friends pregnancy was not only the reason for my fever, it was my own worries and fears.  Let me clarify, the two biggest things I struggle with as a christian are impatience and worrying.  Worrying about crazy things such as,

 "What is something happens to Hubby and I don't have a piece of him forever?"

This is one of my biggest worries and why I struggle to stay with God's timing.  I'm too impatient and want it now, but now is not the time.  We are still in school, have student loans to payoff, I can't be pregnant and still do the chemistry labs I need to finish to graduate, and on and on.   Since our family history is very fertile, we are actively trying to prevent pregnancy with a couple different methods, but I won't lie and say that when the dreaded period comes I'm not a little sad that it came.  I am a wee bit sad.  But I am trying to be patient and wait for God's timing, because when we do get pregnant it will be at the perfect timing, God's timing.

Have any of y'all felt this way?  Am I crazy for feeling like this?

Here it goes...

**(11/16/2012) So this started as anonymous, but I've since come out with it all and have added my name and picture. Hope the Hubby doesn't get mad!  ;)**



Hey y'all!

Let me introduce myself without actually revealing who I am, since I want to keep this blog anonymous for a time since I'm going to be spilling my heart and guts dreams out for you guys. 

Well, here it goes...

* I meet my husband in church (best place to find a good man) during high school and we started dating when I was 16 and he was 19. After 4 years of dating and always being two hours apart during the week for college, he proposed on a Sunday night in January.  We got hitched in a gorgeously simple ceremony with about 300+ of our closets friends & family four months later in May.  We just celebrated our first anniversary and I couldn't have married a better man to spend my life with.

*We are both currently in college still with 1 year to go. Hubby is finishing his Masters in civil engineering and I am finishing a Bachelors in chemistry.

*I must confess we act like an old married couple; as in we go to bed between 9 and 10, we own more movies from before we were born than after, Hubby loves John Wayne, and I crochet like it's the best thing since sliced bread (& love it), and we have a small social life.  Our perfect night after class/work is putting on pj's, fixing dinner, and then watching TV or a movie and/or reading til we go to bed.  Weekends we hangout with some close friends that we've had since 8th grade or before.

*I am in my early 20's and Hubby just hit the mid 20's

*I must confess that I can not spell to save my life, hence a degree in chemistry, so please don't mind all the bad grammar and thank the Lord for spell-check!

Now that I've shared some stuff about me, let me say why I started this blog.  I thought we were preggers and I wanted to document the whole sha-bang.  Well low and behold, 2 days later Aunt Flow made a visit declaring we were not expecting a new little cookie to our family.

But I started a blog for documenting...

So I decided to make this blog just about our life and the craziness that goes on in my head that I don't want to share with everyone since I can't keep anything to myself...I'm an open book to anyone who asks.  So insert anonymous blog that I can spill me heart's troubles and desires hoping that spilling it all to the world will help me keep my crazier thoughts to myself.  

So it goes.

Let's hope it works.

& feel free to leave a commit about anything!